Liberals announce terrible social services plan, we make fun of it with satire | What's Left

by Editors (What's Left) last modified 2016-11-14T14:19:57-04:00
The Federal Liberal Government has announced its first attempt to privatize public services using social impact bonds. Well, obviously, this is a great initiative. Social impact bonds and marketized social services are the future.

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Our draft proposal is for a social enterprise called Progressive Innovations and Social Systems.

The first project allows tagging of selected vulnerable people individually by drones. These tags will send information of health and activities minute by minute via the corporate Cloud. This will allow you to use your smartphone app to bet directly on individuals Hunger Games-style and give directly to your Tagged Investments (TIs).

Because we believe in transparency, the aggregate information will be available to everyone via a pay-per-use data-stream on your favourite trading terminal. This data will allow you to choose and trade your investments and allow the government and the market to develop better and more efficient policy.

Using the power of the market, it is likely that the majority of these TIs will do better under this privatized system than the current system. If that is the case, the government will pay back all of your investments plus 30 per cent.

Deserving TIs will benefit from this system and relieve the pressures on underfunded public services.

We are looking for venture capital funding. Obviously, the venerable and philanthropic-minded investment banks of Bay Street have already approached us as angel investors for guarantee for preferential stock.

Social Impact Bonds: The Next Stage of Casino Capitalism

The old word for all this was philanthropy, but this model has a new twist where the corporation/bank actually gets all its "donation" back with a hefty profit tacked on the top paid for by the public.

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